Love’s Vanilla Complex

If you are like me, hanging out on dating apps (don’t ask), sooner or later the conversation, bio or tags come to vanilla. Mostly in the context of sex: “Definitely not vanilla.” Within this context, vanilla means conventional. Nothing particularly kinky, fetishistic or BDSM-ish. Mainstream. Whilst it does not necessarily mean it makes actors yawn,…

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“You Are Valued.” Are You?

Create Value There is a particular promise many women of my generation grew up with. Work hard. Get educated. Raise a family. Become excellent. Build experience. Take responsibility. Then you become valuable. When younger, this was exhausting, yet sounded compelling as the route to security. But for many of us, it is now beginning to…

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What Happens When What Always Worked Stops Working?

Changing environments have a habit of exposing us Take away the routines, roles and structures we normally rely on and we get to see, sometimes rather quickly, what we actually do when things don’t go according to plan. Do I control harder? Avoid? Push through? Overthink? Retreat? React before I have properly understood what is…

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